About Giving

“I like to give until it feels good.”

I read that quote from a nonprofit volunteer and thought, “Huh.” Is that kind of philanthropy really giving – or is it simply scratching an ego-itch?

Why do we give money to the needy? Why do we give volunteer time to charities? Why do we help elderly people carry heavy packages … or whatever else it is we do out of the alleged kindness of our hearts?

Philanthropy. Charity. Both words grow from the same linguistic root: the idea of unselfish love towards other humans. It is the virtue that is the foundation of all others, at least according to St. Thomas Aquinas. But if I’m doing something because it feels good… what’s love got to do with it? If I’m doing it because it makes me look like a virtuous person – at least in my own eyes, if not in the opinion of others – is it a virtue at all?

I have loved a lot of people, not always completely unselfishly. But I can tell you this – real love requires the willingness to do something that is 100% for the other person and 0% for my own benefit. And, frankly, the only way to know whether that willingness is the real thing is to do the unselfish thing I claim I am willing to do.

Let’s do that this season… do one thing that is 100% for someone else’s benefit. I suspect we will find it impossible, because even when we are cold and tired and covered in other people’s unappreciative nastiness, we do find ourselves on the receiving end of our very own benefit. Somehow, we realize we are connecting with something deeper than ourselves.

When we don’t have that connection, then we discover that we are simply incapable of loving unselfishly, because this kind of love-philanthropy-charity doesn’t come from within ourselves. It originates in a much grander reality than what our physical eyes and ears can capture. But, somehow, our hearts know.

During this holiday season, whatever holiday it is we observe, may we each connect with that which flows out of us as selfless love. At least once.