Reasons, Purpose & Power

“There is a reason for everything.” Really? It seems that every year I hear more voices added to that chorus, find more occasions where a tragedy is explained, even minimized, by people saying it happened “for a reason.” Well, that’s one philosophy, and I’m not sure I agree. Please bear with me as I think about this with my fingers on the keyboard…

What I disagree with is the idea that the tragedy in question was fore-ordained, was purposefully part of some divine plan…. People use the word “reason” to mean “purpose”, and imply that the purpose preceded the event. Hmmm. The only alternative they can imagine – it seems – is that the event is insignificant, no matter how tragic and painful. That’s just bad thinking, at least in my book.

Why? Because purpose does not always come first. Take the story of Candy Lightner, who founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) in 1980 after her daughter was killed by a repeat drunk driver. Why? Because that is what had to happen in order for her to start an organization whose efforts have helped cut drunk driving fatalities in half? No!!!! It happened because some idiot got drunk and once again got behind the wheel. Period. That’s the dark side of life – things happen because human beings are by nature stupid, irresponsible, selfish, and short-sighted. Does that sound harsh? Well, it is. I suspect seeing your daughter’s mangled body in the morgue is pretty harsh too – but it’s the truth.

But the dark side is not the only side. Human beings can also be courageous, visionary, selfless, and heroic. And when a tragedy happens, we can THEN find a purpose. We can say, “because this happened to me, I now have the sensitivity/knowledge/ability to help others, and I must.” That’s what Lightner and many others have done. They purposefully found a purpose for their tragedies – but I don't believe that is the “reason” that those things happened in the first place. Instead of asking “why did this happen?” which does not always have a useful answer, they asked “what can I do now to make things better?” By doing so, they took their power back, they said, in effect, “This tragedy will not destroy me – it will propel me to save others.” Loss is no less meaningful, and no less powerful, because it didn’t happen as part of some divine plan. But it can be redeemed.