The Question That Cripples

I had the chance to chat with some new online friends today. The subject was why humans have to deal with incredibly difficult circumstances like crippling illnesses. So that got me thinking – why do we ask why? I think maybe we think that if there’s a cosmic reason for our hardship then it will still be hard, but it won’t FEEL so unfair or cruel. And, if there is no reason, then we have a right to demand justice, a.k.a. healing. Right?

Do we really get much of a return on the investment of time and energy we put into chasing an answer to the why-question? Frankly, I’ve had much better results from asking the “now what?” question. What do I do in the midst of my circumstance? How much good can I squeeze out of life despite the situation? I ask myself what can I do now – whom can I connect with – that would have been unreachable before I reached my current state of health – finances – whatever.

I have a friend that became a quadriplegic in his late twenties. He’s had to spend some time living in nursing facilities in order to undergo physical therapy away from his hometown. You wouldn’t believe the influence he has had on others within that situation. Before his accident, he would never have set foot in one of those facilities, let alone been taken seriously. Should we throw a party to celebrate his paralysis? Of course not! But we should celebrate his life. We should see beyond his limitations to all the barriers he has broken. I don’t think of him as somebody to be pitied, I think of him as someone to be admired.

And I am so glad he did not waste his life on asking why or on seeking justice. Bitterness is the much greater form of paralysis.

Refuse to be paralyzed by bitterness or self-pity. Refuse to be paralyzed by shame or by pity for the family members who are affected by your condition. Celebrate having one more day to live, one more day to make a difference, one more day to shine through all the crap, all the pain, all the unfairness, all the abuse, all the brokenness, all the loneliness, all the rejection, and all the physical hardships.

Live!