The Lie, the Truth, the Choice

Human beings are an interesting lot. We seem forever bent on either meeting our needs or ignoring them. Either strategy fails miserably - unless misery is your idea of success. Here’s why: we are not built in such a way that we can truly meet our own needs. Like pack animals, there are things about human nature that work for the common good. When we try to focus on our own good… well, you get the picture.

Or maybe you don’t. Here’s the rub: some of my needs will only be truly met when I forget about myself and pour myself into other people. Some of my pain will only be put into perspective when I understand the greater pain of another. Some of my feelings of hopelessness will only be comforted when I comfort another. My feelings of worthlessness will only be neutralized when I do good for another. It’s the way I’m built.

And yet, people who are addicted to sympathy refuse to believe this. “You don’t understand; I’m in too much pain to help others.” Bullshit. You are in too much pain to afford NOT helping others. The lie that your situation is insurmountable, your loss irreplaceable, your handicap unbearable, your life worthless… whatever lie you have bought into will only continue to grow in the darkness of isolation and the moisture of the tears of self-pity.

Does this seem cold? Heartless? Ignorant? Yeah, well, most of what doctors do to heal a broken, infected body is hardly warm and fuzzy. But it is necessary and helpful. You must reach out to others who are worse off. You must. Hope is something that runs through you – when it has no outlet, it dries up. To the extent that you are not DAILY bringing hope to others, your own hope WILL dry up. Loss of hope kills. I should know.

Pouring yourself into others – in even the simplest way – is healing. It has worked for me and I have watched it happen for others. And the more hurt you are, the more this helps. So here’s the question, when times are bad: do you really want to get better?