On happiness

I came across an interesting quote today from an author named Margaret Runbeck: "Happiness is not a station to arrive at, but a manner of traveling." At first glance, I like it. Then I got to thinking… something is wrong here. See, as we travel through life we run into and across misfortune. Pain, death, violence, injustice. Should I travel through those lands riding the “happiness” express?

Come to think of it, are we REALLY endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights that include the “pursuit of happiness”? And then I realized… of course! What the word meant to Runbeck 70 years ago or to our founding fathers back in the eighteenth century was not what the word has come to mean today. Now, the idea of happiness goes something sort of like this: a state where nothing is missing, hurting or wrong and everything – absolutely everything – is pleasurable and exciting!

Hundreds of years ago, the word happiness meant a pleasant and contented mental state. Today, we use “happy” when we’re talking about bliss, which according to the Random House Dictionary is an unalloyed happiness or supreme delight. Contentment, on the other hand, is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified. Consider the pursuit of contentment, about contentment as a manner of traveling. Not very exciting, is it?

I’ve known my share of people intent on pursuing the exciting brand of happiness. They have been persistently disappointed because that state of excitement does not last long. And that discontent is the very engine that drives our consumer culture. We are constantly bombarded with seeds of discontent so that we will go buy something in the effort to be something because what we already have is never good enough - or so they say. I read somewhere that as long as we primarily identify ourselves and others as consumers, we are unable to build true community except with those in our own very narrow economic bracket. That’s a sad and lonely place to be.

Contentment, on the other hand, seems to mark the wise as their constant companion. And so I thought about that as a manner of traveling. When I am at peace with myself and my situation, when I am at rest with the nature of my life, my family, my home, my work – whatever – then I am able to give. When I’m not consumed with grasping for the next shiny thing or hanging on to whatever I’ve managed to accumulate – be it material or interpersonal – then I have open hands with which to give. When I give away goods, services, comfort, instruction, encouragement, companionship… I keep the love (the life-force) flowing. That’s good. And it has never stopped me from improving my work, my home or my relationships.

When my standard becomes Constant Bliss, the love stops and the me-centeredness takes over. That’s not who I want to be, it’s not how I want to travel. I don't want my circumstances in the driver's seat. Give me life, liberty, and the pursuit of contentment. That pursuit is an inner thing; one could say it is a spiritual journey. It’s working for me.